Of Thoughtless Naivety
by pensandink
Summary: Hiccup's a runt in a village of muscly Vikings, and Astrid's a 'perfect warrior'. Merida's a princess with a mind of her own. Jack's a poor boy from a poor village, just trying to have fun. Rapunzel's only just started to see the world as it truly is. These five children couldn't be more different–or the same, since they've all received their Hogwarts letters. [HOGWARTS AU, ROTBTD]
1. Chapter 1

_Title: Of Thoughtless Naivety _

_Summary: Hiccup's a runt in a village of dragon-fighting Vikings, while Astrid's the epitome of a perfect warrior. Merida's a princess with a mind of her own. Jack's a poor boy from a poor village, just trying to have fun. Rapunzel's only just started to see the world as it truly is. These five children couldn't be more different – or the same, since they've all received their Hogwarts letters._

_Disclaimer: I don't own any mentioned parties. _

_Warnings: plotless!, k+, mild language, Hogwarts!AU, Hiccstrid_

The large man and the blonde with the scary shoulder pads in the station are the ones who draw the questioning stares, not the scrawny kid shuffling nervously next to them.

"Come on, son. You're goin' to be late."

"Coming, dad," the boy puffs. He's towing a trunk about as big as he is but can't seem to move it more than a couple inches at a time. The blonde glances at him briefly before picking up her trunk with a fluid strength.

"Hiccup!" the man says, more sharply this time, as he notices the boy lagging behind. He doubles back and picks up Hiccup's trunk easily.

A brief look of jealousy flashes across Hiccup's face, but he pushes it aside and follows his dad through the crowded corridors of King's Cross Station. "I told you I'm coming! I'm not going to miss this opportunity, I swear."

"How do we get to Platform 9 and 3/4?" Stoick the Vast mutters as he totally ignores his son, staring at the divider between Platform 9 and Platform 10. Astrid's hand drifts back to her axe, as if she'd be able to charge at the wall yelling profanities and it'd just show her the way to the right place.

"Are we just supp'sed t' run a' it?" a voice asks from their left and Astrid whips around, hands on her axe for real now. Hiccup's slower on the uptake, and doesn't notice the redhead until a few moments had passed.

"Aye, Merida."

"Okay, mum," the girl mutters, glancing at a regal figure with dark brown hair doubtfully. She takes off at a sprint, flying headlong into the wall – and disappears.

"Well, now that we know how that works," Hiccup mutters. He takes his trunk from his dad and pushes it through the divider first, before running into the wall himself. Hiccup braces himself for impact – but it doesn't come.

Astrid appears behind him after a few moments. "Wow," the Viking girl murmurs and Hiccup thinks it's the first word she's said all day.

A sign hangs proudly above them, marking the area as _Platform 9 3/4. _The platform is crowded – witches and wizards crowd around students bearing trolleys and trunks, giving hugs and kisses goodbye.

Hiccup decides he'd rather forego the sending-away kiss.

"Bye, dad," he mutters instead. "See you later."

"Bye, son," his dad echoes. "Try not to blow anything up."

"No promises," he says with a half-smirk, before tugging his trunk towards a proud scarlet steam engine.

_If only we had these on Berk,_ he thought.

"Nuh-uh," Astrid says from beside him, and Hiccup starts a little.

"Wait, I said that out loud?"

"No. You were thinking it, though."

"Oh, okay." He blushes before lapsing into a silence.

"No trains on Berk," Astrid mutters warningly. "Now come on, we're gonna be late."

The more experienced girl plows through the offending crowd, earning a couple of glares. Hiccup tries to smile but he feels like it's more of a grimace as he tries to convey a message of sympathy to the people around them.

_Here goes nothing_, he thinks, and steps onto the train.

Astrid marches down the train's corridors confidently, and Hiccup trails after her. "Um, Astrid?" he says. "There's an empty compartment here."

"So there is," she says under her breath. "Come on."

They lift their trunks onto the racks above the seats – Astrid effortlessly, Hiccup with much huffing and puffing – and relax into the plush seats. Astrid glares out the window with her arms crossed, and Hiccup waves halfheartedly goodbye to his dad, who doesn't wave back.

He sighs and crosses his legs before looking around the train compartment – anywhere besides Astrid's fierce glare.

There's a tap on the door and it slides open. There's a blonde girl, holding her trunk in one hand and her hair in the other.

_Wait, what?_ Hiccup thinks. But it is her hair, shiny and yellow and really, really long.

"Um, do you mind if I sit in here?" she asks quietly. Astrid shoots her a _look_ before sliding over, and Hiccup shakes his head before sliding over himself.

"I'm Hiccup," he says. "The Silent One is Astrid."

Astrid turns her _look_ on him.

"What?" he protests, waving his arms. "It's not like I've been trying to talk to you on the way here."

Astrid rolls her eyes and huffs.

"I'm Rapunzel," the girl says, glancing between the two with wide, wide eyes. "Um. This is my first year. I'm new."

Astrid mutters something under her breath in Norse. _"Aren't we all._"

"Sorry, I didn't hear that," Rapunzel says timidly.

Hiccup waves her off. "Nothing that concerns you," he says. "Astrid's being a grump. As usual."

"I am not a grump!" she cries indignantly.

"Wow, five words!" Hiccup retorts. "How nice of you to bestow upon us your presence, Lady Astrid."

"Lady Astrid? That's rich." Astrid snorts. "Should I be calling you Your Highness? Y'know, since you're the chief's son and all."

It's Hiccup's turn to roll his eyes. He crosses his arms, but on him the gesture is less tough and intimidating and more petulant and wimpy.

"Whatever," he mutters. "It's not like _you're_ from the leading bloodline or anything."

"Your bloodline is the leading bloodline, idiot."

"Yeah, but the leading bloodline produces wimps like me, okay? It's not my fault if I think I'm not good enough, since everyone else is just _so kind_ to me."

Astrid mutters something else in Norse, something that sounds suspiciously like _sorry._

"Wow, did the great Astrid Hofferson just _apologize_?"

Rapunzel is watching the two of them go back and forth with wide, wide, wide eyes.

There's a rap on the door – more confident than Rapunzel's quiet tap. Astrid stops her retort before it tumbles out of her mouth as a stranger enters the compartment.

"Um, hey!" he greets. "You mind if I hang with you guys? No? Nope? Good. I might have accidentally pissed off a redhead-"

"FROSTBUTT!" someone hollers, and the brown-haired stranger shrinks into his seat.

"Yep, that's her," he mutters. "Hide me!"

He dives behind Hiccup and cowers in the corner. "Oh, I'm Jack, by the by," he says.

"Hiccup."

Jack glances at him with wide eyes. Seriously, what is it with people and staring? "Wait, _Hiccup?_"

"What, is that so weird?"

"No, that's just not a common name. In today's society. What are you, a _Viking_?"

"Actually, we are," Astrid snaps. "So lay off the future chief, all right, pretty boy?"

If it's possible, Jack's eyes widen even more. Hiccup's eyebrows shoot up, asking Astrid a silent question.

_What in the name of Odin's ghost are you doing?_

Astrid rolls her eyes again and huffs. _Protecting the leading bloodline, idiot._

_You're not supposed to._

_Yes I am!_

Hiccup sighs and rubs a hand down his forehead. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Astrid."

"Well, half the village thinks you're not."

He screws up his eyes as Jack prods him with a bony elbow. "So, Hiccup," he drawls. "Chief, huh?"

"Not yet," he says. "Dad's gotta die first, not that I want him to."

The door slams open – not Rapunzel's gentle slide or Jack's antsy push – but an honest-to-goodness slam. "Jackson Overland," the redhead from earlier seethes. "You little-"

"Me little what?" Jack says nonchalantly, sitting up and picking at his fingernails. "Don't see how I did anything wrong."

"Your _fairy bit meh_!"

"So? Baby Tooth's got a mind of her own."

_Baby Tooth?_ Rapunzel mouths. At this point she's thoroughly confused.

The steam engine toots three shrill blasts before lurching into action. The girl tumbles across the apartment and ends up sprawled in Rapunzel's lap, with her curls all over the place. A little cage clipped to Rapunzel's trunk falls off and bursts open, a green chameleon jumping out excitedly.

From there it all went to Hel in Loki's handbasket.

_A/N: those of you who follow I'm No Cinderella, I'm sorry. It's gotten really hard to write it and I don't know if I'm going to continue in the direction I'm going or completely start over._

_Those of you who don't, disregard that._

_This'll be updated sporadically, so don't expect regular chapters, and it's completely plotless, since I obviously can't work with a plot._

_Bye for now!_

_-ink_


	2. Chapter 2

_Title: Of Thoughtless Naivety _

_Summary: Hiccup's a runt in a village of dragon-fighting Vikings, while Astrid's the epitome of a perfect warrior. Merida's a princess with a mind of her own. Jack's a poor boy from a poor village, just trying to have fun. Rapunzel's only just started to see the world as it truly is. These five children couldn't be more different – or the same, since they've all received their Hogwarts letters._

_Disclaimer: I don't own any mentioned parties. _

_Warnings: plotless!, k+, mild language, Hogwarts!AU, Hiccstrid_

"Arendelle, Elsa!" the rabbit says.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't _actually _a rabbit, but it sure looked like one. Headmaster North had made a little comment on a Polyjuice Potion gone terribly wrong, but Hiccup had no idea what that was, so he just called the furry gray thing standing next to a hat on a stool a rabbit.

A platinum blonde strides to the stool, sticks the worn hat delicately on her head. Hiccup blinks as it shouts "RAVENCLAW!"

There's thunderous applause as the girl joins the blue table.

"Corona, Rapunzel!"

Rapunzel squeaks and stuffs her fist into her mouth. She dashes into the Great Hall, all seventy feet of hair trailing after her, and there's a collective murmur from the crowd that quickly dies down. Rapunzel drops the hat on her head and it slips over her eyes.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"DunBroch, Merida!"

Merida walks confidently out to the center, slams the hat on, and jumps up as it yells "GRYFFINDOR!" almost immediately. She races over to the red table with the gold lions without taking the hat off, and somebody had to poke her twice to get her to return it.

There's a couple more names called, but Hiccup tunes out, wiping his sweaty palms on his pant leg.

"Haddock, Hiccup H!"

_Now it just sounds even more ridiculous,_ he thinks, but walks out and puts the hat on anyways.

_Hmm,_ the hat says, and Hiccup starts. _Ooh, a bit flighty, are we?_

_Um, I dunno,_ he thinks. _How – exactly – are you talking in my head?_

_Questioning my sentience, are you? _the hat snarks. _Smart… brave… I see great things coming in your future, Hiccup, although what these great accomplishments are I cannot tell. You would do well in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor, I expect, although Hufflepuff is an excellent option as well... I think we'd best put you in _"RAVENCLAW!"

He takes off the old, musty-looking hat and trots to the blue-and-bronze table, and some other Ravenclaws shake his hand and wave hello and introduce themselves and it's all rather overwhelming.

"Hofferson, Astrid!"

Hiccup smiles lightly to himself as he watches Astrid put on the hat. She sits there for three minutes before the Sorting Hat yells "GRYFFINDOR!"

From what he can tell from the rowdy crowd with violent tendencies, it suits her.

Merida greets Astrid at the table with a grin and a thump on the back, and Astrid smiles at Hiccup before chatting up the nearest stranger, and Hiccup turns his attention back to the Sorting.

People are sorted, the four houses roar their approval, and before he knows it – "Overland, Jackson!"

Jack walks up to the Hat and puts it on, shooting a sly smile at the rabbit, who rolls his eyes and huffs. _How exactly did Jack manage to piss off a teacher _already_?_ he thinks. Hiccup's new friend takes twice as long as Astrid, and the hat finally yells "GRYFFINDOR!" and someone mutters "Jeez, Gryffindor's getting all the new ones."

Hiccup can't tell if that's true or not, since he's not really paying much attention.

The rest of the students are sorted with relatively little fanfare – "Rider, Flynn!" is sorted into Slytherin, along with "Stabbington, James!" and "Stabbington, John!"

After the last person is sorted, someone whose name bears little relevance to Hiccup, the Headmaster stands up and raises his hands for quiet.

The hall goes absolutely silent.

"HA!" the old man shouts. "_Ha ha-hah-ha ha!_"

Most of the new students glance at each other with raised eyebrows. "Is he always like that?" someone asks.

"Yeah," someone else replies. The earlier buzz of conversation returns to its normal level. Someone shouts "FOOD, YEAH!" and the feast appears on the bronze-rimmed platters on the table.

Hiccup gawks. Back on Berk they'd have fish stew for breakfast, fish stew for lunch, and fish stew for dinner, with some mutton on the side and maybe some cabbage or lettuce soup. The feast at Hogwarts was nothing like that.

Platters of pot roasts, trays of lamb chops, and slabs of beef were floated around; Hiccup took a bit of everything as it passed by.

"So your name is Hiccup?" the girl across from him asks, and he thinks she's a second or third year.

"Yeah," he says after he swallows. "It's not the worst, though."

She hums a bit in agreement and takes a dainty bite of mashed potatoes.

"How are you two liking Hogwarts!?" someone shouts from the other end of the table, and Hiccup shoots them a thumbs-up and Elsa, a couple seats over, nods with a tight smile. The noise swells, then deflates, as people finish their first servings and the food makes a second pass around.

Hiccup glances over at Jack and grins. Jack's gawking, as well, but his mouth still hangs open at the sheer amount of food being eaten, while Astrid is stabbing her steak vindictively and Merida eats a piece of pork chop right off the top of her own knife with a half-eaten roll in the other hand.

He glances over his shoulder and Rapunzel is almost being drowned in the amount of Hufflepuffs clamoring for her attention; her blonde hair is marveled at and her plate is piled high with food – "Fatten you up!" he hears someone say – but she looks like she's having a good time so Hiccup returns to his own food.

The deserts appear not long after, and there are pumpkin pies and treacle tarts and extravagant-looking puddings, and he smiles to himself as he nibbles on a warm slice of apple pie.

The hall is loud with the hum of friendships and it's not quite like the Great Hall at home, with the loud, boisterous arguments and laughter and drunken singing; but it's a more collective

He could get used to this, he thinks.

_A/N: Before all of you yell at me for not putting Jack in Slytherin and Hiccup in Hufflepuff and Rapunzel in Ravenclaw –_

_First off, I took a couple of different quizzes five times each. Every time I took the quiz I took it as if I was a different character each time – e.g. I'd take it once from Jack's perspective, thinking about what he would do, and then take it from Merida's or Hiccup's or Rapunzel's._

_I consistently got Gryffindor for Jack. Which makes sense. Slytherin is the House of the cunning and ambitious, and while re-watching the ROTG movie I couldn't help but think Jack wasn't really either of those._

_Merida got Gryffindor as well. Kind of obvious (since her movie is titled BRAVE), as was Astrid; their views are so similar it's hard _not_ to put them in the same House._

_While Rapunzel, at the beginning of Tangled, has a thirst for knowledge, I see a higher prevalence of Hufflepuff mentality – hanging out with the kids at the end of the movie, the whole Kingdom Dance scene, and the fact that she asked for _humanity _at the Snuggly Duckling and her kindness and attentiveness to the ruffians and thugs during the song. _

_Hiccup, I feel, is a Ravenclaw. During his movies he's trying to learn more about the world – the map in the second movie – and he's constantly making connections and applying knowledge he has to the world around him – the scenes in the first movie where he finds dragon nip, Toothless' cat-like tendencies, and the sweet spot on a dragon's chin. Also, his inventions are so advanced they'd belonged about three hundred years in the future (flight suit especially)._

_Yikes that's long._

_Anyways. Until later,_

_-ink_


End file.
